Friends, old, new and dying.

I have a lot of friendly acquaintances here in Nashville. They are friends, but not people I've known for years. My circle is mostly people here for the music industry and we are all from somewhere else. So when someone disappears from view, I usually just assume they've gone back home for a while.

Thus, I was surprised when Kurt told me about the benefit for a friend named Wendy, who was apparently dying. I had no idea. I just figured I hadn't seen her in a month.

A couple of years ago, another friend started a monthly women's breakfast club, which lasted five or six months. It was a rotating potluck whose sole purpose was for women to connect as friends. We were the same people as the circle of musicians, but it was strictly social, a way to lay down roots in a town where we had none. That was where I became friends with Wendy.

She got laid off shortly before I did, and we both bounced through a series of temp jobs. Her last one lasted more than a year, but since she was a temp, it didn't include insurance. A lot of companies are doing this ruse now, and I blame it for the fact that she got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer on Jan 24th. It never should have gotten that far undetected. She is terminal and living in a hospice.

Neither one of us is a musician. I came here as a spouse of one. She came alone. She once told me that it was her mission to encourage musicians. It seemed a little lame to me at the time, although I didn't say it. I feel like I have spent my life being the solid support person for my children to bloom, then moved on to my husband's dream, but personally, I want to shine on my own as an artist or writer. Even when I used to do art shows, I never got to truly be a self centered, flaky artist. My craftwork sold. It paid bills.

She hosted a weekly radio show featuring many independent songwriters, including Kurt. She attended shows and songwriter nights. She was there for other people's dreams, and that was good enough for her. And they got the chance to thank her.

Her radio co-host organized a benefit for her. It was the Sunshine Benefit, and took place at a bar/cafe last Sunday. It was a festive event with songwriter performances, a blues band, an auction and a bake sale. The theme was yellow smiley faces. Thus the cookies which I made. They sold well.

People said good things about her and thanked her for her musical support. We left notes in a guestbook for her. It was not a depressing event. It was a celebration of her life, the kind of thing we usually do after somebody dies, while she was still alive to appreciate and enjoy it.